+ final fantasy viii: black star
Written by: Bob and Vanessa (shades_of_grace@hotmail.com)
"Wh--What the hell are you talkin' about?" I could tell he was starting to get uncomfortable, which was an odd occurance coming from Seifer. I didn't mind, however. People have a tendency to go along with things more often when they're uncomfortable or afraid.
"Tell me something. How do you feel about Rinoa?" I meant it to sound as a perfectly innocent question, but Seifer could see through my facade. Damn him. It was time for a new approach.
"You lost to him." I know Seifer well enough to know that he can't stand hearing that someone else beat him, especially when that someone is Squall.
"What?" He maintained a cool exterior, but looking into his eyes, I could tell he was seething. This would be much easier than I had thought.
"You lost to Squall. Rinoa chose Squall over you. You've lost everything to him." I carefully studied Seifer's reaction. I didn't want to send him too far over the edge. Seifer was a ticking time bomb and even I knew better than to intentionally set him off.
Seifer remained quiet for a few moments. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if it was a vain attempt at blocking the truth I had just let roll off of my tongue. It's true Seifer and I have conflicting ideals about pretty much everything, but I knew we both agreed on one thing now: bring Squall down into Hell with us. He would know what it felt like to have the flames of regret and sorrow lapping at his heart day after day. As Hyne as my witness, he will know.
"Are you tired of being second best, Seifer? Do you want to finally step out of his shadow? The world is much more glorious place when we walk in its' light."
"Yeah? How would you know? You're down crawling on your knees, same as me." Touche, Seifer. You always did have a quick wit about you, I will give you that.
"You're right. I don't know, but help me with this and I guarantee you Squall and Rinoa will be the ones crawling in our shadows."
Seifer seemed to be heavily contemplating what I had said. When I saw that old arrogant grin of his, I knew I had won. My powers of persuasion could be downright amazing at times. I went over the details of my plan with him. I had onfessed that I really didn't know how i would convince Squall that Rinoa was cheating on him, and with Seifer of all people. He seemed confident enough that he could pull it off effortlessly, however. I could only hope that he was right.
With this one, simple plan everything I have dreamt of will come true. Well, not everything, as I won't have Squall in my arms but it would be close enough for me. I was becoming obsessed with teaching him my brand of pain. I couldn't concentrate on much else. Of course, there wasn't much to concentrate on at this point. It was still only Tuesday. I had officially become everything I feared: a cynical, obsessed woman. I didn't care at this point, though. I just want him to pay. I can never get my heart that he stole from me until I kill his.
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Seifer and I had spent every spare moment we had plotting out everything. It gave me a sense of peace knowing that Seifer was as much in this as I was, even if it wasn't for the same reason. I wanted revenge. Seifer wanted to make Squall realize once and for all who was the superior being. Seifer had everything worked out and it seemed flawless. I would impersonate Rinoa, detailing her cheating escapades with Seifer. Squall would overhear the conversation and well, I think the rest is self-explanatory. All of my hard work and perserverance will pay off soon.
I could only imagine the look on Squall's face as he hears "Rinoa" express her undying love and desire for Seifer. I imagined the look of sorrow reflected in his eyes and the sound of his heart shattering like ice. Then, and only then, would he realize the true meaning of pain. Only then would he know the meaning behind all of my wasted nights crying myself to sleep. Then he would realize that I wasn't merely "overreacting." The aching of my heart wasn't an illusion created by me. He will know that now.
I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out the landscape of Esthar. This place always did set me ill at ease. There was just something about this hi-teach city, surrounded by faux mountains that sent a cold chill through my spine. I was startled by Seifer shoving my door open, landing with a resolute thud against the wall. He always did like his presence to be well-known.
"You ready for vengeance?" Seifer asked, full-well knowing the answer. He held up a brunette wig and a sky blue duster similar to the one Rinoa wore almost religiously. To clarify, I would be dressed as Rinoa and I would be cuddling with Seifer in the shadows, but somewhere where Squall would see us. I would be facing away from him the entire time, since I look nothing like Rinoa, but since all Squall would see was raven colored hair and a flowing sea of blue, that didn't matter much. I grabbed the items from Seifer and headed towards the bathroom to change.
"Hey, Quisty?" Hmm? He's never called me by my nickname before. He rarely even calls me by name.
"What is it, Seifer?"
"I know this is bad timing, but why do you wanna do this so damn bad?"
"We've been through this a million times. It's really quite simple. I want Squall to pay. I want him to pay for making my heart break so many time it turned to dust. I want him to pay for every tear I've ever cried because of him. Am I getting through to you at all?" Why is Seifer acting like this? Why now, all of a sudden? This isn't like him. I know he wants to see Squall suffer. He can't ask for much more than what we're about to do.
"Look, I'm not saying the bastard doesn't deserve it. I just--Why can't you let it go? Why can't you move on? That's all I'm asking. Everyone gets hurt, Quistis. It's a part of life. There's no stopping or denying that." What was this new side to Seifer? Is he trying for redemption? Is he suddenly starting to be a compassionate human being, rather than the soulless drone he once was as the Sorceress' Knight? No, that's not fair of me to say that. Seifer wasn't soulless. He was eaily led by the path of temptation. But I must ask, Why now, Seifer? After everything that has been said and done, why are saying all of this now?
"Quisty..." He tried pleading with me once more, and I saw something different in his eyes. It wasn't new, just...different. It was different for Seifer. There was genuine concern masked beneath his emerald pools. Seifer was very good. He almost had me considering the consequences of what I was doing. Even you can't bring me back now, Seifer. Can't you see that? I have sat idly by for far too long. I have lived in this private, depressing hell for too long, and I will finally make everyone realize that. Because if they won't allow me to join them amongst the heaven they so enjoy, I'll drag them down into the shadows of night's sorrow with me.
I heard Seifer sigh an almost inaudiable sigh before locking the bathroom door to get changed. Still, I couldn't help but think of Seifer. What had gotten into him? He's been as passionate about this as I, so why this all of a sudden? He seemed...concerned almost. No, that couldn't be. Seifer has never been concerned with anything that was outside of his own, selfish desires. Well, I suppose that isn't entirely true. It's obvious, even to someone like me, that he is fiercely loyal to his "posse" as he calls them. I began to ponder just what may happen after we went through with this. Squall could never just bring himself to walk away from anything without a fight. I wondered if he would try to fight Seifer. Of course he would. When it came to Rinoa, he would do anything. What if Squall actually hurts Seifer? More importantly, why do I even care? Granted, Seifer is helping me now, but that doesn't excuse before. The constant taunts and disrespect. Maybe Seifer really is right. Perhaps I do need to let go.
No, I won't let go yet. Everyone may think I'm insane, but I'm not set out to destroy Squall's life. I want him to pay for the pain he caused me, yes. If this so-called love of his is truly meant to be, then it can recover from anything, including this. So, I'm not really doing anything wrong. If his love is true, they will recover. If it's not, then it's best he find out now rather than later. Well, at least I was able to convince myself of that convoluted logic.
I found my thoughts wandering to Seifer yet. It was strange how someone who used to be one of my greatest adversaries has became the person I hold myself closest to. I never did take the time to really understand him. I never realized how alike we were. He was misunderstand, just the same as I. There's definitely been a growing closeness since we've been here, there's no denying that. Seifer could be compassionate and loving, just as any other person. I don't know why he opted to keep it hidden all this time.